Unsubstantiated Rumors

NaBloPoMo 1: Back with a vengeance.

2011-11-01T19:40:00.000-07:00

Awesome. It has officially been 1 year since I've posted to this blog. NaBloPoMo was less than successful for me last year, I suppose.

So, we're moving. It is basically dominating my waking thoughts. Our cheap little basement apartment is going to be not-so-cheap in the very near future, so we can't put off moving any longer. It just doesn't make sense to pay here what we could pay for a much nicer place, much closer to Joe's job. His commute is currently about an hour and a half each way, so it's ridiculous to stay here longer if we aren't saving any money.

Unfortunately, I have obviously set my heart on the place that's slightly MORE expensive than even our raised rent, despite the fact that we've found acceptable places for even cheaper than the rent increase here in Keyport (although it probably evens out when we consider utility costs) but it's the larger apartment, the apartment with the huge storage space and the private "porch" next to the laundry room, the more expensive apartment is the one I've been decorating in my head.

When I stop and break it all down, I know logically that the difference is not so big. I can justify that price jump with the space increase, the quality of life improvement (between the easier commute, the wood floors instead of wall-to-wall carpeting with the cat dander, the actual exposure to sunlight, etc.) But it's intimidating. We knew we'd have to move, and have been discussing it, but we wanted to wait until we'd saved up more money. As it is, with this rent increase dropped in our laps, we're stuck moving right away. We aren't ready. Scratch that, I'm not ready, and I'm scared. I'm scared I won't be able to handle it. I'm scared of losing control of my finances (which I'm honestly still figuring out as a young adult.) And yet, I have to make my decision right away, this week. A decision that I feel like I've already made, I'm just nervous about. I'm scared that I'll choose this apartment, it will be too expensive, and Joe will hate it.

I'm just scared. I've been spending a lot of time reading ghost stories to distract myself, (hey, it was Halloween) but they don't scare me. This is the stuff that scares me.

NaBloPoMo 1: It Starts.

2010-11-01T15:06:00.000-07:00

It's November. It's National Blog Posting Month. It's the start of my full-time freelancing career, and it's a good time to try writing again.

I'm sick. It's awful. I'm better today than yesterday, but still achey, stuffy, and weak. The apartment is a mess - I need to work up the energy and motivation to do it. There are shoes everywhere for some reason. I'm not sure at what point Joe and I stopped putting our shoes away, but there they are, kicked over the living room floor for Pooka to climb on and rub her face on.

We stayed in last night. That should be a given, considering my current health (not that it kept me from going to my last day temping on Friday or the 16-hour, including travel, wedding day Saturday) but it's still worth noting. We watched TV. I chose Bridezillas and The Walking Dead, and Joe chose a couple of Food Network shows (Meat & Potatoes, The Next Iron Chef) and That Metal Show. (This makes much more sense than the night he wanted to watch Cupcake Wars while I fought for Top Shot.) I dressed Pooka in a Halloween t-shirt.

I'm excited to start working from home, but I'm also feeling a little trepidation about the prospect of being my own boss, keeping myself on task. It's going to take discipline to not keep taking days off or playing with the cat all day (although, if today is any indication, she's gonna bug me in the morning and then curl up in her bed under the side table.) But I'm excited for the work - editing wedding videos for Rob Adams Films - and the flexibility. I've got a new computer, dedicated to work, and a few new programs to play with. I've been reading a bit about different techniques to stay productive (The Pomodoro Technique, for one) and I'm motivated by the thought of a 2-foot commute.

Tomorrow is Election Day, and if you didn't submit an early ballot yet, I hope you plan on voting tomorrow. If you need a push to choose your candidate, check out Project VoteSmart's VoteEasy - it's a fantastic, adorable, easy-to-use jumping off point, breaking down 12 major issues and the candidates in the running. Is it simplified? Yes. That's both good and bad, because while it's easy to use, it's also missing a few issues. And while I'm not surprised to see my stances landing me staunchly in "fringe" parties, I can't shake the feeling that by not voting for one of the two major parties, I may be "throwing my vote away" and effectively removing my vote from the race. But at the same time, if the Green/Independent/Libertarian/etc parties are going to gain much traction, they need all the votes they can get - it has to start sometime, they have to be recognized.

So I hope you're voting tomorrow. I hope I'm feeling better tomorrow, so I can visit mom and do laundry while I hit the polls. I hope I figure out a better way to end these things, because this is just awkward.

I'm back, this time with complaints!

2010-07-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

This SUCKS. I took the day off from my temp job at the NJEA to work a wedding (with the fantastic Rob Adams & Vanessa Joy), but I slipped getting out of the shower. I caught my foot on the faucet while the rest of me slammed to the tile floor, pivoted on my calf across the edge of the tub. My foot is killing me and my leg is sore. Thankfully, I'm 99.9% sure it's not broken. I can't afford a hospital visit without insurance.

But this means I'm out a day's work, despite having two jobs. I'm supposed to be assisting the videographer, which means lugging equipment and running (often literally) around between houses and churches and receptions. It's exhausting, but it's fun, I feel like I'm learning something, and I get the odd chance to do something creative, shoot a little...

But not today. Today I am an idiot with a slippery bathroom floor.

2009-05-05T06:51:00.000-07:00

it's 9:47 and despite the schedule claiming 9:30 the video lab is not open. the photo lab won't open until 11:30 IF it opens (yesterday I arrived to find the darkroom closed due to "plumbing problems"). my macbook is at 16% power and there is an inexplicable dearth of outlets in this hallway. I forgot my cell phone at the apartment and I don't plan to be back there for another 12 hours. it's raining and my rainboots are not waterproof. 9:52 - 15% power. I am NOT carrying the half ton camera I borrowed from school all the way back to my car. it's going to be one of those days.

the pitter-patter of petite paws.

2008-12-20T11:51:00.000-08:00

Adoptions galore in the family stead:

Mom adopted Niko on December 5th after a successful visit with family friends/dog owners that cemented our feelings for him as a family pet. His training is going splendidly. It's a lot of work, because he's still a puppy (only about 1 year old) and he needs to go on daily walks and play in the yard no matter how cold, wet, snowy or slushy. But that's the commitment. He is super duper cute.

We assumed at first he was a German Shepherd/Collie mix, but someone suggested Belgian Shepherd, which comes in 4 varieties. They had been thinking he looked like a Malinois with long hair, but that's basically a Tervuren, but he's smaller than a Tervuren by a couple of inches. Whatever the answer, he's definitely a herding dog. He nips at our heels when he wants us to go faster, which is apparently a classic sheep-herding move.

AND! I gave in and adopted my little hypothyroid gremlin on Wednesday. Her name is Pooka.

She's on thyroid meds for the rest of her life. Congenital hypothyroidism is super rare in cats (I think it's pretty rare in general) and it affects more than her size. It's hard to find information on and the vets at the shelter had never seen it before. She's gained like half a pound since starting treatment (she was only a pound to begin with) and she has a lot more energy now. It's all relative though because she was a total bump on a log to begin with. I dressed her in a pink collar with a bell on it and I hear her jingling across my bedroom floor all night.

So (as if I had to say this) life is good. Christmas is coming, my kitten's getting fat, and I've got more than a haypenny to my name. Also, there is a very large gift downstairs with my name on it and I am anxious to find out what it is. Just because it's big. I'll keep you updated.

I have to work on X-Mas, though. Kind of a bummer because this means shuffling all my family plans. We're opening presents Christmas Eve and we'll be late to my aunt & uncle's on Christmas (this would be the year we schlep to Brooklyn, and probably the earliest the party has started.)

But now, I have the rest of today off (work again tomorrow) to go gift-shopping with Joe (he waited until his semester ended) and play with the wee kitten. Huzzah!

OH YEAH I FORGOT

2008-11-29T18:42:00.000-08:00

MY STUPID CAR PASSED INSPECTION!

Time to bore you.

2008-11-29T17:38:00.000-08:00

I figure it's important to get this out of the way first since these items had many family members excited during Thanksgiving.

Updates involving cats:
1. All the cats I listed in my "hey which of these kitties should I adopt" post have been adopted from the shelter (by other people!) except for Armstrong, the big kitty with a tiny tail and voice to match.
2. I'm not adopting any cats right now. The family is fostering a beautiful shepherd/collie mix named Nicko. He has a cold. And no manners. But he's a super fast learner but we need to seriously work on his interactions with other dogs. He's not aggressive, just really excited and doesn't know how to read their signals. I digress.
3. The adorable gremlin-kitten-ball turns out to have a thyroid issue. Even though the vet techs initially thought she was only 6-8 weeks old, she's actually more like 5 months old. (No Way!) Way.

Moving on. I've been working a lot. It would be nice to be able to think of something to talk about that didn't actually involve animals, but I've started working full-time at the shelter and it's all I do. I even worked extra half days today and last Saturday. Brutal. It's a physical job, so I was really expecting to be in better shape than I am by now, but alas.

It's getting colder out. My feet are chilly now, and I need fluffy slippers. Should I put that on my X-Mas list?

The best part about Thanksgiving is the end of the parade when Santa comes out and marks the official beginning to the christmas season. I missed that this year because I was working (cats and dogs eat turkey, too, and yes, I did make sure to feed the cats turkey & giblets 9 Lives on Thursday), but the season changes all the same. I can now enjoy carols with newfound vigor (which is good because we've started playing XM: Holiday Traditions at work. Off-topic, anyone have Sirius or XM and notice the new hybrid image IDs? the shelter used to play "XM 23: The Heart", but now it's "Sirius 3, XM 23: Love")

I started some gift shopping early, but I underestimated how much time I had. I was proud to have certain gifts done before Turkey Day and suddenly it's crazy shopping time and the best I can do is join the masses.

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is on TNT. I wish the third were on next but the next movie is Spiderman. Feh. The scene where Arwen's father describes her depressing future is one of the most beautiful scenes in the trilogy, I think. The Eye of Sauron is totally cheezy, especially after so many parodies in cartoons and comics and things. It strikes me, though, that The Hobbit never enjoyed this incredible reimagining and I think its main issue is the lack of concern for "Men". This is not feminism. I mean HUMANS.

Despite the fact that a hobbit (Frodo) is the moving force for the plot surrounding The Ring of Power, and even with the existence of the fear that Man is too weak to control himself around the ring, in the end it is the weakness of Man that has the potential to lead to the end of Middle Earth and it is continually man that these other species (elves, dwarves, hobbits, wizards, ents) are banding together to save; through the battles for Rohan, Helms Deep. Aragorn says that Saruman's army is meant "to destroy the world of Man" and it's Aragorn, a man, who unites Legolas and Gimley as companions despite their blatant hatred for each other from the beginning. The play on man/woman as gender and species within Middle Earth (if there are "dwarf women" as Gimley insists then are there also "man women"? what's the logic here?) is what brings Eowyn to ultimately defeat Sauron in the final film (oops did I ruin it for you?)

What I'm saying is that it's been bothering me through this movie tonight that "the world of man" is so damned important when the continued deforestation, despite the existence of a race of Ents who should be just as important a species, makes little difference in the storyline beyond angering said ents.

I'm tired of discussing this. Just think about it. Over and out.

did I mention how cute my job is?

2008-11-13T15:48:00.000-08:00

I took home this teeny gremlin/chinchilla/ewok/yoda/tarsier/hedgehog/kitten ball of fluff for observation.

Observations:
- curls up in cute little balls
- when you pick her up, she remains in a cute little ball
- stays wherever you put her
- fits in one hand
- doesn't mind dogs... or anything for that matter.
- is adorable.

omg omg omg cutest thing ever

2008-11-06T17:23:00.000-08:00

Did I mention that working at the SPCA is awesome for a great variety of reasons?

Reason #62: Celeste and her kitten

AND (blurry cell-phone-) VIDEO EVIDENCE!

Celeste and Her Kitten from Leah on Vimeo.

Yes. We CAN!

2008-11-04T20:20:00.000-08:00

The Rev. Jesse Jackson is crying on CNN. It moves me.

My family is watching John McCain give his concession speech. I'm in such high spirits from the outcome of this election, that I'm only mildly perturbed by his supporters BOOing Barack Obama, and by McCain's suspicious smirks. Sore losers.

It's kind of inexplicable, this feeling. To see the unbelievable emotions in people at the Obama crowd in Chicago when the announcement went out. It was more than joy, more than excitement. I hate to be cliche, but it was hope. Oh my god imagine that feeling. I saw a black girl screaming so hard into the air, and it struck me. For so many years, white men were assumed to represent even this black girl, but the idea of a black man being representative of white citizens took such struggle. I imagine it will feel similar to see a woman win the presidency some day (as long as it's not Palin).

I hate to continually bring race and gender together in discussion but it's my way of relating, and to be honest I think it was how I was taught. And somehow seeing a black man become president does make me more hopeful that I could see a woman president in my lifetime., and that's amazing, It makes me feel hopeful. It makes me feel like our children can finally be raised to seriously be whatever they want when they grow up. It makes me hopeful for key legislation in the upcoming years. It makes me want to get more involved. I feel more connected in a way I think a lot of people do more than ever before.

My boyfriend and my brother each voted for the first time today. My brother Devon because he's only now 18 and it's his first presidential election (how cool!) and Joe is just finally motivated enough to get registered (I imagine a nudgy girlfriend helps) and actually went through with the voting AND researched enough on his own to make his own choice despite who his family may have preferred, which is a common influence.

AND! AND! AND! CNN used a HOLOGRAM for the first time! Cool!

Choice quotes from Obama's speech:
"Tonight, change has come to America."
PS - Can I tell you how excited I am for Michelle Obama to be First Lady? She's awesome.
"...and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House!" !!! (I hope they adopt from a shelter. I will swoon.)
"I was never the likely candidate for this office...it was built by men and women who dug into what little savings they had to ffer $5.00, $10.00..."
"THIS IS YOUR VICTORY."
"America, i have never been more hopeful ... I promise you that we as a people will get there."
I love when the crowd chants "yes we can"
"I will always listen to you, especially when we disagree."
"It is only the chance for us to make that change ... so let us summon a new spirit."
"We rise or fall as one nation, as one people."
"I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too."
the b-roll choices, even while LIVE are impressive. go CNN.
"If our children should live to see the next century...what progress will we have made?"

More to expect.

Leroy Update

2008-09-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

The old ewok-faced pup has to be put to sleep. I took him in for a check-up this morning and his breathing just hadn't improved as much as it needed to. He's got to be uncomfortable - one side of his lungs is compressed so that he's only using the other side. They could do a bunch of fancy tests to figure out exactly what's going on, but no matter how sophisticated the information, the prognosis is the same. He's sick.

I did get to say goodbye to him. It was totally harder than I expected it would be. I was prepared from the beginning that this dog was sick and if he died, it wasn't my fault - but I couldn't help but feel a little like I was letting him down when I went in there knowing I wouldn't be bringing him home. He was so excited when I walked up to the cage and wagged his tail with all his might and when I opened the door he came over and put his fluffy little head on my shoulder and I died a little inside. I held him for a little bit. I'm entirely too sensitive for this job.

I know this is the right thing. He's in pain, and the euthanization should be like going to sleep (or so I hear). It's not like I was going to adopt him. I would have rather he go to someone who could commit to taking care of him and enjoy his company, but I'm really happy I could make him a little happier, relaxed, and a little more comfortable for a few days. It was way nicer here than in the shelter.

So there it is. The sudden end to my first fostering experience. ta-da.

G'night Leroy.

The Kennel Diaries

2008-09-24T12:10:00.001-07:00

My baby is gone.

Jackson got adopted. I know, I know, I know, this is a GOOD thing. I'm sad for me, not for him. He's living with a really super nice couple, not too far away, with a big yard. The couple has had a pit bull and a rottweiller in the past, so they're more than equipped to take care of this sweet thing. His name is Chance now.

But the shelter let me take him out on my lunch break before they showed up to take him home on Sunday. We went to White Castle :)

I can't help it. He really felt like the perfect dog for me. He made me so happy. But I guess it just wasn't the right time. I couldn't make it work.

So I thought about it. The major issue with Jackson - beside my mom's concern with his breed - was that I don't know what I'm doing next. I don't know how long I'll live at home with the parents. I'm waiting to hear what might happen with the opportunity at HBO (the interview went fantastically) and I guess I'm not ready for my own dog. It's a big commitment. I was only so willing for Jackson, but now that he has a good home, it feels okay.

So I signed up to foster animals. It's shorter term, and really helps, and I get the experience of taking care of "my own" pet (as in "not my mom's responsibility"). I brought my first home on Monday: Leroy, a one-eyed Shitzhu with a big heart.

No really. He has an enlarged heart and fluid in his lungs. He wasn't eating. The whole situation was too stressful and he's too sick. If he wasn't super sweet and easygoing, they might have had to put him down, but as long as we can get his health problems under control, he's totally adoptable even having to be on medications. He's even easy to give pills to.

So he stands around the house and stares a lot. That's pretty much it. He wags his tail and moves around some times. His breathing is kind of labored. But he's getting better at a really good pace. By Tuesday morning he was eating on his own. He was running out the door to go do his business. It's kind of exciting to see those changes, to see him perking up and getting some energy. I don't know what his life was like before this. He came from Tennessee where there's a shelter that gets in some 600 dogs a month. They sent us like 20 puppies to try to adopt out, and Leroy's owner pulled up and asked them to take him too. So here he is. I can only hope his life is pretty good here, and will be even better in the future. He's only like 4.

But we'll see how long he's here with me. Mom has been checking out Teddy and Violet, a pair of sibling white Husky mixes who are totally awesome and should have been adopted already except that they have to go home together, and that makes it hard. They're beautiful, and their inseparableness is incredibly endearing. They walk side by side. If you take one out on a walk and leave the other in his or her cage, the one inside will howl until the other returns. It's annoying. But adorable.

I could talk forever about all the different personalities at the shelter, but I'm bored and hungry and tired and don't feel like yakking anymore. So there. That's it. That's my anticlimactic post ending. Deal with it.

Wish me luck.

2008-09-10T10:27:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in a busy cafe called Pecan in TriBeCa, waiting to go to my interview. I just ate the most delicious roasted butternut squash soup I have ever tasted (and butternut squash soup is pretty much ALWAYS good) and I hate maybe 10 more minutes before I wander off to find this office. Timing was fantastic despite the conundrum my family has been placed in with regards to transportation. I walked leisurely onto the platform in Princeton Junction just as the train pulled into the station, and have been spending time here in this cafe for the past half-hour or so. My interview is at 2pm. I think I left myself enough time this time around.

We have 4 cars in my family. My GTI (4 seats), Mom's Passat wagon (5 seats), Dad's Miata (2 seats), and Devon's truck (2 seats). The Passat is in the shop. Devon has the truck at school all day. Dad parks at the train station while he's at work. We were kind of relying on my GTI to get me to the train station this afternoon AND to drive the whole family to my uncle's retirement party this evening. Until last night, when I heard a strange noise leaving work and opened the hood to find the water pump pulley...well...wobbling. Basically, if this breaks I should not drive the car. I should not drive the car even before it breaks anticipating that it will. Fixing it will involve lifting the engine out of the car. Fantastic. Dad seems to think we'll just jack it up from underneath but this may be one of those few times I bow out and bring it to a shop. I want to make no mistakes when it comes to lifting an engine. Call me crazy.

That James Blunt song is playing over the speakers. Every time I hear it I expect the Sesame Street version my cousin posted on her blog a while back. It's way better.

On the train on the way here I received a phone call about interviewing at HBO. Sweet. Job opportunities.

I just hate the idea of leaving the SPCA now that I've started there. I'm only in 3 days a week! I can work around that! I've fallen in love with this dog right here:

Jackson, my love. from Leah on Vimeo.

Who wants to help me convince my mom I should take him home?

PS...

2008-09-06T10:13:00.001-07:00

Did I mention I've been cloned?

She's/I'm being raised in Delran. I/she already have/has the same taste in jewelry as myself/me.

Boy, talking about a tiny you is hard.

mreowr.

2008-09-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

I want a kitty. Like now.

I'm going a little stir-crazy with no pets in the house. It's kind of a problem. We had animals all my life until I guess 2 years ago when Honey died. I kind of expected her to live forever.

I got her when I was 4. And she lived to a ripe old kitty age; she just never got very big.

Honey is a 17 years young old lady in this picture. What's that in cat years? Are they like dog years?

I finally got a part-time job AT THE SPCA! Yes, it's true. As of Sunday, I have my dream job - I will be getting PAID to play with PUPPIES. It's kind of a miracle. So Sunday, Monday, Tuesday I'm there. I have an interview coming up for a paid production internship as well, so hopefully that will fill my Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and I can work some jumbled mess of full-time and life will be good. This would really be an ideal situation for me. I get to be around animals AND work my way up in the production world.

I would love to have a pet at home, rather than making furry friends that someone else gets to take home and snuggle, but while I'm living at home it's really not an option. A dog certainly isn't anyway. My mom gave in to the idea of me getting a cat as long as it's MY cat and I take care of it and pay for it and everything.

Aye, there's the rub. Technically I have the money in the bank to buy myself a kitten and whatever accoutrements we'll need (food, litter box, TOYS) and I have another $150 coming in soon from the Production Assistant job I did with mtvU on Tuesday. But at this point, it's really not fair to consider that money "mine" to go spend on a kitten (even though I've totally picked out the kitty at the SPCA and he's a teeny little kitten, mostly white with a gray-black smudge on his head that makes it look like he has a mohawk! eeee!)

The thing is, at this point, my parents are still helping with so much monetarily. They're footing the bill to keep me on health and car insurance and keeping me in their home, on a cell phone, and every once in a while my mom will spring for a tank of gas or something. The point is, they're shelling out a lot here that I should be able to take care of myself...but I've been looking for the "right" job. I really thought my chances were good to get something full-time pretty early on, and when that didn't happen, I finally gave in last week and handed a couple of applications to some part-time places.

It's just luck of the draw that the SPCA one - the one I really wanted out of the part-time gigs - is what pulled through. I tried a few kennels in the area, a dog groomer - because my mom suggested to me one day that it might be a good way to get puppies out of my system, to work with animals, since I'd go to pet stores just for fun sometimes to get my puppy fix. I even applied at a pet store, sort of by accident since their ad was for "kennel help". The thing is, once I got in there it was obviously a pet store. And the woman I spoke to immediately wanted me on the sales floor, not in the back. Right off the bat she thought I'd be good for sales, and was offering a pretty acceptable salary.

But it was full-time, and I was hesitating to commit myself to a pet store and not be able to take on any freelance in production. So I did my research on the place to make sure it was the kind of company I'd want to align myself with...and it wasn't...(2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) but I think this was the story that really convinced me because it shows that on top of all the other stories, there's nothing I can do for those dogs while I'm there. So when I found out the Monmouth County SPCA was hiring, I jumped on it.

But that means I've only just gotten a consistently paying job - one that I'll make about $768 a month with. My health insurance is something like $400/month, and when my loan repayments start up, that'll be (I think) some $250/month...estimated $650 plus whatever cell phone bill I rack up and whatever my own car insurance might be...I might JUST break even (or not. I admit to having NO clue what car insurance is going to cost me) on the monthly bills with this job. I'm not panicking, because I know this won't be my ONLY job, and if for whatever reason it was for a while I think I could get more hours, I could do full-time and probably double my paycheck. It's not ideal. Now let's say I get this internship (just hypothetically) at another $10/hour that's another $960/month coming in for food, gas, savings? Kitten?

So there's the problem. I can't run out and buy a kitten just because I have the money in the bank, because as long as my parents are taking care of me like this, it's not my money to spend. It's just not. I'm in this awkward position between childhood and adulthood (and I feel like I've been stuck in it for a while) where my parents still take care of me in some ways, but I really am trying to get to the point where I just take care of myself. And them. And a pet. And it's not like when I was little where the concern was who would really end up cleaning out the litter box, it's like who's really going to provide for this animal if I provide for it while still being provided for? Someday I'm going to have to join that fight for the check at the end of the meal; whereas now, out to dinner with my family, they're fighting over who's going to pay for me (not in the bad way - my mom is like "well I'm paying for me and my daughter and my mom" and my grandma is like "well I'm paying for me and my daughter and my granddaughter!" and I just sit there with flies coming out of my wallet.)

But I still really want a kitty. So I'll whine about it.

Duff Goldman: EAT YOUR HEART OUT

2008-08-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

AND ALMOST HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

stop playin' games with my heart?

2008-08-11T12:22:00.000-07:00

It's Quit - "QUIT playin' games with my heart" not "STOP" you dumb vandal.

Joe and I had a mini dinner party last night. I mean I guess HE did, because he cooked (fantastic meat sauce + pasta) and it's his apartment and so technically I was a guest...I don't know it's confusing. The point is, we ate with Ed & Vickie and played Nintendo games on the evil penguin (defies explanation) and had an overall good time.

We also visited Baltimore on Saturday and it was a blast. I will post photos after they are developed (I dropped the film at Walgreens today) because I am a dork and I much prefer my 35mm manual camera. My cell phone did not do this green water justice, but I tried:

We have been doing much walking. It is good.

I still need a job. I'm trying now to get a part-time gig playing with puppies. That'll work out, right? We'll see. ::sigh::

come on, even I wouldn't try this

2008-08-01T07:14:00.000-07:00

via The Smoking Gun:

INCIDENT INFORMATION:
Type of Incident: Larceny from Building
Malicious Destruction of Property
Date: 7-27-08
Location: Three Rivers Cinema 6 Theatre

NARRATIVE:

Shortly after midnight on 7-27-08, Three Rivers Police were called to a disturbance at the movie theatre. When officers arrived, they observed theatre staff restraining a subject. The subject was dressed in full costume resembling the "joker" from the Batman movie.
The "Joker" was caught by theatre staff trying to steal movie memorabilia and posters related to the movie "The Dark Knight". The "joker" was later identified as 20 year old Spencer Taylor of Three Rivers.
Taylor was arrested and booked on felony larceny and malicious destruction of property.

END OF RELEASE

Dude really would have made a better Scarecrow from the looks of him.

"the bear is a natural wrestler"

2008-07-29T21:01:00.000-07:00

an old favorite I'd almost forgotten about: THE DESTROYER VS VICTOR THE BEAR (narrated, of course, by The Destroyer himself)

"When you're in the ring with that bear, you've got to keep him busy or he's liable to just walk away from you."

"He's got a little bit of a choke-hold; but the referee, he cannot talk bear-talk so the bear cannot understand him."

"I got disqualified for getting too rough with the bear! Now how tough does that tell you The Destroyer is?"

Indeed.

the v-dub vortex

2008-07-29T12:12:00.000-07:00

The car is...coming along. I've been getting some input on the VWvortex forums (titled, I'm sure, for the swirling vortex you find yourself in trying to troubleshoot and fix these cars as one thing after another goes out on you.)

I replaced the ignition wires yesterday. Now I have fancy OBX high performance shiznit. They are large and in charge. And yellow, which really just fits in with my whole Baby Batmobile theme.

And last week I replaced the window regulator in the passenger side.

The window had stopped working and although the motor was fine (thank dog cause that thing alone is like $300 on the cheap side) the cable was all bajumbled in the gear. So I drove around with an old piece of fence holding my window pane up (as you can see in the picture above - check out the inside of the door all the way to the right of the photo) until a new regulator came in, I swapped in the motor, put my door back together, and things are as good as new...sort of...

My Dumb Car from Leah on Vimeo.

Down is up and up is down...but only on the passenger side. The only time this really bothers me is when I want to use the key to simultaneously lock the door and roll up my windows (it also does the opposite, unlock the doors and roll down the windows) which is a pretty sweet feature to be sure. But it's not so sweet any longer, because when one window rises, the other falls.

Joke's on Leah.

But look! Look! Mom treated me to a car wash. This is the cleanest my car has been in a year!

Needs a name. I think I've decided it's female, which is a big deal - this would be my first female car ever, since Thor and Odin were so rugged and masculine. I have many options. I could name her after myself, since she's just as moody, or I was leaning toward Cherry Darling (I have a Planet Terror sticker, a silhouette of Cherry, on my car now) or Stabitha. I can call her Stabby for short.

Whatcha think?

media does matter

2008-07-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

I get MediaMatters in my e-mail on almost a daily basis, and at times, it frustrates me a little bit. I feel like they are so on top of everything, but they take for granted that their readership tends to pretty much understand and agree with their message.

I've really been railing against this whole "oh doesn't the press love Obama poor McCain" crap, but just in my head. I feel like there's no one I can really talk to about it. I tried with Joe one night but for one, he really is not into talking politics and for two, despite the fact that I majored in media and journalism, he remains skeptical of many of my strong opinions because they're strong opinions and in general those are not to be so blindly trusted. Or something. So imagine my inner sigh of relief when my e-mail this morning held a MediaMatters about the very topic, seemingly hinting at the very thing I've been trying to express...

"The media and John McCain have a special relationship, one that the press has acknowledged on more than one occasion. Following a week of coverage focused on unfounded complaints of media bias by McCain and his surrogates, Media Matters Action Network has launched an ad campaign today highlighting the media's long-held affection for the presumptive Republican presidential nominee.

This ad highlights what many already know to be true -- that McCain, more than any other politician, has benefited from a press corps that routinely ignores his gaffes, flip-flops, and mistakes while perpetuating the myth that he is an anti-Washington, straight-talking maverick, regardless of facts to the contrary."

The thing that bugs me about it is that when you watch the ad (below) the fact that the media "ignores his gaffes, flip-flops, and mistakes" is wholly ignored in this video. As I see it, the media's lack of focus on McCain (besides "poor widdle man is being ignored!") is the best thing that could happen to the man who does shit like call his wife a cunt in front of reporters and confuse himself on who we're even at war with and where the conflict even is. The press' obsession with Obama's foreign leaders tour is a fucking godsend for this man who can just not survive under the harsh scrutinizing lights of the American public. Although, since he has made it this far, you've got to wonder. So this whole complicated argument that positive media attention on Obama is actually better for McCain is unfortunately simplified to a few clips of reporters professing their love and adoration for "The Maverick"

raining sideways

2008-07-27T20:24:00.000-07:00

Meagan and I hid in an Applebee's from the torrential...um...side-pour (you know, as opposed to "downpour") outside. We were told not to go home yet because it was hailing there. So we shopped for specifically colored secret things I can't divulge instead. Aren't you curious now?

Exhibit A:

The Great Storm of July 27 from Leah on Vimeo.

normalish update to be posted soonish. expect dumb cell phone vids

2008-07-27T19:33:00.000-07:00

Ok. Ok ok ok. I've been putting this off, because I honestly don't think I can live up to my own hype about how much I love Batman. Also, I'm so overwhelmed with thoughts on The Dark Knight that the idea of blogging about my experience has been just too intimidating to be sure.
Anyway, nothing I could put together would do it justice, so in place of an actual discussion of the complexities and thematic brilliance of The Dark Knight, here's a cuss-laden IM conversation copy-pasted from Adium. Booger Breath = my friend Matt (revengeofthenerd.tumblr.com) and Poo Face = me. We have childish playground insult nicknames for eachother. DON'T JUDGE US! (for that anyway)

Booger Breath 9:59
so batman

Poo Face 10:00
AWESOME

Booger Breath 10:00
haha
thought you'd think so

Poo Face 10:00
but I'm so protective of my Batman

Booger Breath 10:01
well
it was the heath ledger show

Poo Face 10:02
I get all "pfft whaddyoo dumb bitches know?" when I heard girls in the bathroom after the movie trying to understand things in the movie because they liked it, and then on the radio today some bitch was talking shit about how it wasn't that great and I got all "pfft whaddyoo dumb bitches know?" again
it totally was
is it wrong that I'm more sad he's dead now because he won't be back as the Joker?

Booger Breath 10:02
kinda
but im glad he rocked his one shot
granted...it is an overrated movie...but its still damn good
and very complex

Poo Face 10:03
I saw nothing overrated about it

Booger Breath 10:03
would you call it a masterpiece?

Poo Face 10:03
actually, I think the way they addressed TwoFace was totally underrated - there's so much focus on Heath
I don't call anything a masterpiece - that's just begging for someone to come in and rip something you really loved to shreds
I liked that it took the psych-thriller feeling to the next level from Batman Begins
I liked that even a theater full of douchebag teenagers with their cellphones was fucking SILENT as soon as it started straight through all 2.5 hours

Booger Breath 10:06
haha
i blogged about it haha

Poo Face 10:07
I wish there was more about Batman, but I appreciated that neat little dark knight vs white knight wrap-up in the end that sort of turned everything said about Harvey Dent into something insinuatively about Batman
of course you did
I've been avoiding blogging it
too obvious coming from me

Booger Breath 10:07
it just exploded in my brain
and i had to write

Poo Face 10:08
I loved loved loved that whole throwback to the first Batman movie - the part where the Joker is hanging from a building by his one ankle

Booger Breath 10:08
agreed
i was like..JOKER FALLING AAAAH!
i liked that his backstory kept changing
just like the comics

Poo Face 10:10
yeah I thought that was really a cool way to take that whole thing on
because all of their backstories change a little...he just had control of his
but I felt like that was one thing kind of lacking about Ledger
that second story, about the wife...I just didn't believe it

Booger Breath 10:11
well it's all a lie anyway
it's a gimmick almost
also humanizes him in a strange way that he is a rampant liar

Poo Face 10:12
I think he put a lot more conviction into the story about his father, and then when he starts to tell the old guy at the party he reminds him of his father, but then tells the whole love story thing...it was like he was hinting that the father one was true, but the wife one wasn't, and that really just goes against the whole idea...
I wanted him to put as much effort into the wife story as the father one
or more - cause it didn't help that you have no clue he's lying about the first story until later

Booger Breath 10:13
i declare nitpick!

Poo Face 10:14
AUGH!

Booger Breath 10:14
blarp

Poo Face 10:14
I just got so worked up during the first story...all tense and shit
it reminded me of why the Jack Nicholson Joker scared me so much as a kid, only I was thinking "thank fucking dog I didn't see THIS as a kid!"

Booger Breath 10:15
oh this was not a kids movie
not remotely

Poo Face 10:16
my mom says that's why I'm so obsessed with Batman now...cause the Joker gave me nightmares as a kid and I have some repressed feeling that he's going to save me

Booger Breath 10:16
hahaha

Poo Face 10:17
what's yer blog?

Booger Breath 10:17
revengeofthenerd.tumblr.com (ed: go there to understand the following outbursts)

Poo Face 10:18
Cesar Romero!

Booger Breath 10:18
fact

Poo Face 10:20
I honestly didn't like Brokeback very much
but I digress

Booger Breath 10:23
indeed
i liked his performance in it

Poo Face 10:23
and the wall roll WAS fucking cool
I swear the entire theatre went "WHOOOAAA" when that happened

Booger Breath 10:24
same here

Poo Face 10:25
now I wanna see it in IMAX!!!

Booger Breath 10:25
ditto

Poo Face 10:25
I was putting off seeing it because that was my goal...but it was just taking too long so I saw it at the Freehold Metroplex...but I still want to go immerse myself in a large rounded wall-ceiling of batman

Booger Breath 10:26
yeah i just needed to see it at that point

Booger Breath 10:32
i am batman

Poo Face 10:32
false

by the numbers

2008-07-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

1. Please, please, please read this post from Jezebel Not just the post, but the comments as well because this is what real women are saying.
"I hate how the press gives McCain a free fucking ride on all these important issues. Confusing the Sunnis and the Shiites. Not knowing how to use a computer. Joking about his wife as a cunt and beating her. Now this. How many other things have we missed because McCain's press corp is incompetent. Way to spread the word Jezzies."
Read this, take it in, and vote accordingly, I beg you, because if you're missing this stuff, I will blame you and your ignorance for the misery of the nation.

2. PROJECT RUNWAY RETURNED TONIGHT but a lot of people probably didn't know about it. This season is full of wusses with dumb names who don't take big enough risks and are sad mock-ups of our former favorites.

3. I caught a fly the other night and I thought I'd post PROOF:
4. I may or may not have a job. Yeah I get that that's not really news, but the point is, we did a "formal" interview today (it took 2 hours and was recorded) and should find out Friday whether I got the job or not. It's part-time, so I can still take on other projects and deal with this graduating thing, so I'm pretty set.

5. The boyfriend's band is playing a show at The Court Tavern in New Brunswick tomorrow night and you should go. Last week was exciting. It was at a strip club and Joe cut his hand open pretty deep on a broken snare drum stand. It bled a lot.

ouch :(

What am I up to? 6? I guess I could talk about the car, but I'll update on that after I fix the window tomorrow.

Love,
Leah

Women In Film

2008-07-13T17:15:00.000-07:00

I'm seeing if I can find an internship in something bringing together video/journalism and women's studies. Long story.

But I found this and it's cool. I'd rather post it than go into further details about that.

Very cool to watch. It might be worth noticing the lack of women of color included, and that homogeny is what makes it so different in the beginning - how easily the women's faces blend together - from the end - the blending is much less smooth, and you're left thinking you didn't get a long enough look at each face, despite the timing being assumedly consistent throughout.

Whatever. Ignore me. Go watch it, smile, and forget about it within the next three days. I understand.

my dad can beat up your dad

2008-07-09T21:26:00.001-07:00

My dad is part of a team of smart dudes building a super-computer named Anton. What does your dad do?
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/08/science/08comp.html

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2008-07-09T11:56:00.000-07:00

I repeat: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

NEW AMANDA PALMER:

ruminations.

2008-07-08T01:20:00.000-07:00

So I got to thinking about picture-hosting sites. Go figure.

I want to like Picasa, I really do. It's connected to Google, which means it's also connected to this blog pretty intimately (although I've had a much easier time uploading straight to the blog itself rather than ever really needing to visit the Picasa website) and it offers a shiny uploading tool from my Mac iPhoto program. That's pretty neat. But I just can't get into it for some reason. It's just not all that fun and even though it uploads in good time, you have to wait a while for pretty much everything else. It doesn't offer all that much in the way of photo editing as far as I can tell and to be honest, if there are any features beyond "put pictures here" I haven't found them.

I was a Photobucket girl once upon a time. My account(s) still stand in mild disarray and I've been admittedly neglect of them. The thing with Photobucket is that everyone who uses it to post pictures somewhere inevitably ends up with that default logo that says "click on me and go nowhere! certainly never see that picture your friend is trying to show you! haHA!" (note the inflection on the second "ha" - very Three Musketeers) But Photobucket offered a good amount of fanciful interest. For one, I believe you can host videos, which is a huge step above Picasa already. The resizing/editing feature was clean-cut and forward with its intentions, and the slideshow/embedding options were light years ahead of the Picasa slideshows. I'm talking about this in past tense because I haven't done my research and I'm working on shady memories here. Bear with me. I also seem to remember that everything took for-goddamn-ever on Photobucket, so I'm hesitant to return.

The major contender lately seems to be Flickr. They've successfully made their mark on every blog you read, and there are so many widgets and embedding options that seem to be connected to the site I can't keep track. I've never had a Flickr account (although I'm considering it at this point) but it seems to me the serious draw here is how closely it verges on social networking site territory. Ample commenting space, easy-to-browse albums and tags, and like I said it seems to be linked to a lot of blogs that garner those community-like followings, so in the end, everyone feels like they know eachother because not only are they reading every detail of their everyday lives or learning their opinions on current events by heart, they know what you look like. They know what your friends look like, they recognize your dog. This is mildly intimidating but knowing how boring and unpopular I am in the web wide world, I doubt I have much to be concerned about.

A girl has so many choices.

I've already settled on Vimeo for the bulk of my video hosting, I'll have you know. Fuck that YouTube craze - it's littered with so much garbage and addiction and trend. However, it is incredibly useful when you know what you're looking for - you can find practically anything. So that's neat.

It is worth noting...

2008-07-07T13:07:00.001-07:00

It is worth noting that I spent a wonderful 4 day weekend in the infamous Manhattan apartment of one aunt & uncle who had galavanted off to Montreal and left me (yes! me!) in charge of two kitties and a basil plant (which went regrettably un-used).

View Mina:
She looks at you with love and then rolls on her back to seduce you into rubbing her belly with your feet. She is tiny and demanding.

Now imagine the same cat only larger, like normal-cat-sized. There. Now you have Clovis. He makes a lot of noise when you keep him out of the guest room because he wants to throw himself on the tiled shower floor (even if it's wet, which surprises him but does not deter him).

Both cats have been trained to vanish when Jenny and I sing "The Kitty Song" but are easily confused by different melodies of the same lyrics. It goes like this: "kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties (take breath here) kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties kitties..."

I took the train up on Thursday afternoon from Metuchen using an old NY Penn/New Brunswick train ticket. (They really don't care what ticket you use as long as it insinuates you spent the appropriate coinage to procure it. I used to use my Newark/New Brunswick pass to get to South Amboy all the live-long day when I worked at DiversityInc and avoided my dumb rental like the plague.)

I really hate lugging my backpack through the city. Once I hit the subways I feel like a tourist, and I get paranoid and swing the bag around to my front when I'm standing still for any length of time. Considering the amount of heat-swelled waiting you do on subway platforms, this means I spend most of the trip supporting the bag with only one shoulder, which of course becomes incredibly painful. This time, I carried my little overnight suitcase; a brown textured hard-shell square not much bigger than a large shoe-box (I'm thinking the kind your galoshes come in) with a little toiletry box (+ mirror) that sits on a shelf inside. It makes me think of Grace Kelly in Rear Window. The point is, despite the idea that a suitcase is more like a visitor than a backpack is, I felt like less of a tourist. My little suitcase was hip and functional, since I could set it down and sit on it while I waited on the platforms. I even plopped myself down on the floor of Penn Station and used it like a table when I first got in and subdued my pizza craving.

Enough about the damned suitcase. Jenny arrived later and we ordered Indian food. We usually strut down First Ave and dine in the christmas lights at Panna II, but we really, really did not feel like wearing pants, and restaurants usually require that type of thing for service. So after calling like 5 places for delivery (some were nonexistent, others stopped delivering 20 minutes earlier - what happened to "the city that never sleeps"? Did they mean "until 10pm"?)

We wandered the city the next day. Ate french toast and chocolat froid for brunch at Le Gamin (j'adore!), tried to go to Toy Tokyo but it was closed for Independence Day (Tokyo celebrates the 4th of July?) and ended up in our usual haunts - wandering St. Mark's and detouring through Trash & Vaudeville, where I found these beauties (that I can't afford and will be returning for pretty much as soon as I get my first paycheck):

The point is, we shopped. I introduced Jenny to Anthropologie and she returned the favor the next day with Fishs Eddy. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I haven't even told you of the fantastic dinner we prepared. Oh goodness.

When Lewis showed up the three of us hit Whole Foods (after getting a little caught up in The Next Food Network Star reruns) and went on a mission for deliciousness (it was a success!) A crazy lady dragged us into the cheese room and introduced us to the creamiest, most wonderful gorgonzola I've ever tasted (and I hold a severe bias against blue cheese in general, so this had to be really good). Lewis picked out a sirloin and Jenny grabbed some onions and garlic bulbs while I filled a bag of mixed greens and chose a rosemary-garlic dressing. It is worth noting that we also grabbed a delectable $10 tiramisu for dessert. Then we hit the beer room, filled two growlers, and practically skipped back to the apartment - we were so a'cited.

We waited for Joe before starting to cook. (JennyLewis (not Jenny Lewis) nagged us for being adorable in retribution for me catching them smooching in the bathroom and mocking their smoochy noises.) Lewis created a curry-spice rub and coated the sirloin while the oven preheated and the garlic roasted and the rest of us toasted and ate "homemade" (says Whole Foods) tortilla chips. Jenny put on the new Devotchka album, I deglazed the searing pan with red wine and tossed in the onions to bubble and reduce and soften and sweeten while the steak cooked. In the end, we dumped the onion/wine sauce on top of the steaks and buttered/garlicked some bread and poured the beer and plopped on some gorgonzola to melt lovingly into the steak/onion/sauce stack and ate and made "mmmmmmmm"ing noises and Lewis and Joe squealed about how they could cut their meat with a butter knife and we all exclaimed "OHMAGAWD THIS IS SO GOOD" with full mouths until we had full tummies (well Joe kept eating past that because it was really that good). It was at that point that we decided climbing up three flights of stairs to the roof was just not worth it and we watched the fireworks on the TV instead.

The next day we stumbled upon a street fair on Sixth Ave and successfully avoided eating Mozzarepas. That's an accomplishment, you know. We did eat lunch at New York Burger Co. and it was wonderful. They had like a million sauces and I tried every single one. Also, Jenny tried to dare everyone to drink the pickle juice leftover in the little cup she got pickles in and no one bit. So I bet her a dollar to do it and she did. I caught it on my phone. The boys were all like "ew, you guys are so gross!" and then they went to the bathroom together while I paid Jenny to drink pickle juice.

Jenny <3 Pickle Juice from Leah Peticolas on Vimeo.

That's most of the excitement I suppose. You don't need the details of my time alone with my boyfriend after our friends left. (We just talked!) and I won't bore you with more about how cute the kitties are. I'm home now. I'm cleaning my room. I am still jobless. I should know tomorrow if that will be changing anytime soon.

Watching HGTV. What else is new?

2008-06-28T09:53:00.000-07:00

- Tear passenger side door apart to remove window: CHECK
- Look up window regulator mechanism prices and scowl at the idea of saving a good $300 by reusing the motor and hope hope hope that will work: CHECK
- Get distracted drooling over the thought of buying a house: DOUBLE CHECK

These are the two houses I make sure to drive by every time I visit Joe and I dream of buying and fixing and loving:

The brick one is in Matawan, not far from the train station (which explains why the price tag is well over $200k despite it being such a mess inside. Not that I've peeked in the windows or anything.) and the white one (my new love - check the black-doored TWO-car garage!) is very close to Joe's apartment in Keyport, which is in a very pleasant and convenient (for us) area, and is listed for like $75k less. And nobody would ever park in front of my house! I would totally get a dog. The white one needs basically a new kitchen, and the brick one probably does too, along with the fact that it's pretty much built to necessitate a deck out back.

I need a job. Know anyone who might want to hire me so I can start saving up for one of these places before they get snatched up? Huh? HUH?

Speaking of visiting Joe, I [heart] Keyport.

OH MAN I totes forgot this weekend is the International Food & Music Festival - Hooray for events calendars in the middle of downtown! I knew it was smart to snap a picture for a reminder!

And because I love pictures, and I love Joe, here he is lookin tough in a dumb helmet:

I love you, baby :P

OOH I just remembered I get to eat Arirang tonight! HAPPY BIRFDAY LYZZLE DYZZLE, FO' SHIZZLE MAH NIZZLE! Yeah I wrote that.

Where Is She Now?

2008-06-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

Wondering where I've been? No? Yeah I thought as much. Thanks a lot assholes.

Anyway, I've been working on my resume reel so's I might perchance happen upon employment of the video editing kind. Here it is if you're interested (warning: 10 minutes totes running time)

Resume Reel from Leah Peticolas on Vimeo.
Any ideas how to change the default screenshot? I'd really prefer something cooler, and there are more interesting moments to stare at when you're NOT watching my video! (edit: nvm. fixed it. totally easy - thanks vimeo! - and now way more appropriate than a shot of Holly's family portrait)

Now I'm standing around Joe's band's rehearsal studio, sipping my coke slurpee and twisting my earplugs in my fingers. They get all ear waxy. Yuck.

We went swimming today and it was wonderful and relaxing (despite ::ahem:: some moodiness on my part ::cough:cough::) The point is, I feel good now.

Ew, somebody just farted. Friggin' metal dudes.

"You know what the White House could use? Some frat boy humor. Oh, wait ..."

2008-06-06T18:02:00.000-07:00

Wearing a beach-themed T-shirt, McCain 2008 campaign adviser and former GOP chairman of New Hampshire Steve Duprey hands out candies aboard the campaign charter plane of Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain en route to St. Petersburg, Fla., on Wednesday, June 4, 2008.

Henri

2008-06-04T22:23:00.003-07:00

cracks. me. up.

Fat Rant - Confessions of the Compulsive

2008-06-04T22:20:00.001-07:00

Sharing is Caring: Miscellany Media

2008-06-04T22:10:00.000-07:00

I am so good at procrastinating it's SCARY. If you need help avoiding doing important things, I could suggest many fantastic videos. They'll be posted separately (because I just figured out how to post directly from YouTube - FANCY!

MUSICAL INTERLUDE:
http://www.myspace.com/gossipband
http://www.myspace.com/scarletqueens

Sharing is Caring: Digest

2008-06-04T17:39:00.000-07:00

I'm constantly saving links to articles I think other people should read or that I want to go back to, and then I forget and they clutter my bookmarks. Solution: I'm thinking weekly/monthly digest of the things I've saved so I can share them with you (and myself!)

Vol I: (mostly feminist-leaning edition)

Does Racism Still Exist? - An AverageBro Town Hall Discussion:
"One common thread, not just on those talk shows, but also on my blog, is that whites seem to only acknowledge racism (if then) when it's something so blatantly obvious (Rutgers, Dog The Bounty Hunter, KKKramer) you can't even deny it. But most people of color (and I'm not just talking blacks) would tell you it's far more subversive than that. And that's what I wanna talk about. What does everyday racism look like to you?"
This was totally opened up to the commenters and I thought it sort of fabu.

The exclusive Feminist Club?
"So in my last post I admitted my disgust at the idea of Heidi Montag as this generation's feminist hero... One of my favorite gals, Adrienne gave me a "finger wag" in the comment sections. And maybe I needed it. She is very right when she asks, who's to say what makes you feminist or not? So that got me thinking and if I'm being 100% honest I do believe there are some issues that DO kick you out of the feminist club."
I am in total agreement with Tobes (the blogger) on this one. On the one hand, it drives me nuts when people judge the activism of others, and two feminists can have totally different ideas about what their main cause is, etc, but there are certain things that are incredibly un-feminist, and in fact have often given actual feminists a bad name (I'm looking at you AND your hatred of what you seem to think feminists really are, iFeminists).
I would want to add some things to her list though, namely I would add "political affiliation" to part II of the list (things that WON'T get you kicked out even though some people will get on your case because they're asshats). A lot of times there is an assumption that by being a feminist, you are "liberal" and thus "a democrat" but I've met Republican feminists, and I've met ignorant liberals. Whatev. There are more than social issues at stake when choosing a political party.

oh, how fortuitous I would stumble upon this link next...

White Liberals Have White Privilege Too!
"It often seems that the only way liberals can talk about race is to encircle the "racists" and point at them -- either for a laugh or a morality tale. The former is one of the many tricks that faux news personality Stephen Colbert employs in his caricature of a conservative. His racist schtick makes fun of racists, and there's a comfortable distance between the satire and the show's mostly liberal viewers. The critique goes down easy because it represents something the viewer isn't.
...
I've met Johnnys and Sallys at political events, house parties, and through friends of friends, who have an unnerving belief in their own righteousness -- their "downness" with the cause. The issue, though, is not the occasional off-color remark, but rather the framework that comment stems from."
This piece is fantastic. 'Nuff said. Read it no matter how liberal and unracist you may believe you are. And remember that criticism is often not for the sake of criticism. This article is really its most interesting when you apply it to yourself!

Refusing membership in the Boys’ Club: an answer to Derek about what feminist men can do
"Male feminists must support women, of course. In the journalism world (which was the arena up for discussion on Saturday), that means standing in solidarity with women colleagues and fighting for the inclusion of feminist perspectives in all aspects of reporting. But I’m convinced that the single most important thing that feminist men can do to dismantle the Old Boys’ Network is both far more simple and far more difficult: refuse to join it."
Before you ask, god yes a man can be a feminist. It just means that you support equality for the genders (and often also race, class, age, etc because they are all so inextricably linked.) Just read the damned article.

In fact, pretty much any questions about feminism can be found here: Finally, A Feminism 101 Blog: Frequently Answered Questions
I had reason especially to have bookmarked this article in particular:
Feminism Friday: Rape Jokes Aren't Funny
"just pointing you at these three posts below from Melissa McEwan at Shakesville.
Trauma-Trigger Alert: Melissa describes her own rape in harrowing detail in order to point out how rape is not funny, and although the discussion threads start out thoughtful and interesting, they end up invaded by shockjock fans who troll the thread with graphic threats of rape directed against Melissa and other commenters.
Aren’t we feminists lucky, we get some cyberbullying to go with the defense of rape jokes as well!
Melissa has decided not to delete them in order to show just what sort of threats these jerks perceive as “jokes” that we “need to get a sense of humour” about."
The links posted on the entry actually don't work anymore, since the trolls invading the pages DOS'd them, but you can find new links within the comments.

Emily Gould - Exposed
"It’s easy to draw parallels between what’s going on online and what’s going on in the rest of our media: the death of scripted TV, the endless parade of ordinary, heavily made-up faces that become vaguely familiar to us as they grin through their 15 minutes of reality-show fame. No wonder we’re ready to confess our innermost thoughts to everyone: we’re constantly being shown that the surest route to recognition is via humiliation in front of a panel of judges. ... Of course, some people have always been more naturally inclined toward oversharing than others. Technology just enables us to overshare on a different scale."
Really interesting piece from the NYTimes Magazine by an ex-Gawker blogger about her experiences putting her personal life on display. It's things like this that make me really think about how great of an idea a place like this is...

Jackson Katz: Violence Against Women Is a Men's Issue
"The first problem I have with labeling gender issues as women's issues is that it gives men an excuse to not pay attention. This is also the problem with calling them gender issues, because the majority of the people in the status quo see gender issues as women's issues."
I think this one speaks for itself.

Feministing: Random Friday Feminist Fact
"Back in the day, colors were stereotyped the actual opposite of our current pink/girl and blue/boy bullshit."
I have been telling people about this and I finally have someone else backing me up! HAH! IN YOUR FACE! Yes, someone in the comments gets all snarky but if you keep reading, another commenter blows it out of the water with some really interesting shit. My knowledge: Pink was for boys because the male humours were dry and hot, connected to earth/fire elements and the color red. Female humours were wet and cold, symbolized by blue.
Bonus link: Hue: For the Love of Color: Why is it Blue for Boys and Pink for Girls?

a terrible, terrible, not so good, very bad idea

2008-06-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

It's taking time, but with a clean and sparkly home kitchen at my disposal, I'm slowly but surely returning to the culinary mad scientist character I once was. It's hard because my mother is around, and for those of you who have mothers, you may know that they cook better than anyone and it is very easy to rely on their comforts. But I'm trying my darnedest... okay, she was taking a nap and I was too hungry to wait.

My instincts are rusty, however, and this afternoon led me to the burger that inspired this post's title and should really never have been created. But I'm hungry, and I can't go back now. I might be able to dig out the pickle slices, but there's no way I'll ever get all that home-made hummus off the bun.

I'm sorry, taste buds.

Also, I hate ants. I love the beautiful weather and sitting out on the back patio to eat lunch (if that's what you want to call it) but I hate hate hate ants climbing over my keyboard or onto my knees or carrying dead beetles in front of my already gastronomically depressed plate. Ugh. I tried to catch an ant skittering across our kitchen floor the other day, hoping to deter any future exoskeleton-clad scouts from coming in our home in search of food. My mom looked down to see me on all fours, trying to pinch the damned insect between my forefinger and thumb and said "well at least I know you're not afraid of bugs."

The one carrying a carved out beetle body insists on marching back and forth in front of me over and over again. I think he knows how I detest him. I wish to attempt an ant-sassination but I'm on his turf this time and that's really just not fair.

Well, I obviously can't focus while I'm at home, so I think my best course of action on the terribly long journey that is "finishing my finals" is to remove myself from temptation, stick myself in the middle of a cafe or quiet library, and work until I'm done. So that's the plan. Let's hope this idea is much better than my last (which I've just finished and have sworn never to create again.)

2008-06-02T23:44:00.000-07:00

It is 2:30 in the morning. I am looking for an affordable firewire hub and giggling wildly at this video:

I've learned the fun today of uploading to Picasa from my iPhoto + other Google goodies. Expect a picture post in the very near future. In the meantime, enjoy the bunny.

bedtime stories

2008-06-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

First of all, let it be known that I'm posting this entry from my Nintendo DS. It is taking FOREVER just to type this sentence but it's totally worth it. I've been hit with a bout of the laziest insomnia ever.

I think I'm actually kind of manic right now, judging by how fast my thoughts are going and how many things I feel the urge to leap out of bed and do RIGHT NOW. It feels like I can't wait to get the next dayweekmonthyear started immediately. I make to-do list on top of to-do list with bullet points and plans of action...

In fact normally I'd be out of bed and storming around my room by now except that I'm wiped out on pain medicine (there's a perfetly legitimate reason for that - wisdom teeth just out, remember? only the real pain waited until last night/today to kick in) and I'm not reacting well to them. They take away the pain, yes, but they also make my eyelids heavy and my eyeline wavy and my stomache susceptible to a special kind of land-based seasickness that only comes from being dizzy and trying to keep up with La Vie en Rose (did you see that movie? what the hell?)

I remember being young and going nights without sleeping. Sitting on the floor near the bookshelf in my old attic room finding myself inspired by just about anything; writing crappy songs and poetry and crafting weird fantasy stories in my head, scheming for my next big project with my friends. As I got into high school it was more drawing and writing. I remember sometimes trying to fall asleep and having an image in my head, and suddenly I'd know exactly how to draw it and the lines would form themselves in my eyes and they'd shoot open. I'd leap out of bed and ransack my bedroom for a scrap of paper or unused journal to try to sketch it out on. I still have some of the ones I actually liked.

Sometimes I couldn't rest until my room was clean, which happened more at the dorms when I was stressed, much to the joy of any roommate who ever found me doing dishes or scrubbing a toilet at 4am. But when I was younger I remember I'd sit on the floor sorting school papers or something until the sun came up, and then try to squeeze in an hour or two of shut-eye before my mom woke me up and I had to start complaining about how tired I was.

I had a set of exercises I would try to get myself to sleep. Not just a hundred sit-ups or whatever, but relaxation stuff. I'd lie on my back in bed and start convulsing - just shaking every little part of my body - and starting with my head or my toes, I would silence each protesting portion. By the end, you feel so still. Then I'd imagine myself sinking into the bed like quicksand. The more comfortable I could get, the less likely I'd get up and dump out a bunch of markers to doodle with...

I just wish I could get comfortable now. The room spins whether I have my eyes open to see it moving or not. I have motion sickness lying perfectly still (and NO, I have not been drinking.)

But I've updated my newfangled blog and I have a to-do list (actually, two; one general, prioritized by number, and one with details on the stuff I need to focus on tomorrow + things I forgot when writing the first list)

Devon just got home from work (1:15am!) and I can hear him slamming cupboards and clattering bowl and spoon. That boy can go through cereal like no other.

It's time to try to go to sleep. Leave me to-do list items in the comments (real or imagined) and I will report back on progress ;)

I think I done bad.

2008-05-30T14:11:00.000-07:00

I think I made Joe mad.

I'm really not stressing about these finals...until you start asking me about them. My dad started in on it again last night, my mom asks me pretty much every day, Joe asks me every other day or so. I'm tired of hearing it. It's like no one trusts me to just get it done. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to think about it unless I'm doing it at that moment. Just please, please, please stop asking!

So Joe called about 4:44 (he calls every day after work like a good boyfriend) and started asking. So I threw his messy apartment back in his face because he just said yesterday or something that it stressed him out so please don't talk about it. So I'm annoyed - he can ask for me to stop talking about the messy apartment I think is going to adversely affect his health but I can't ask him to stop talking about my dumb finals that I still have time to spare on?

He brought up a good point that he was asking questions and I had been more like telling/nagging, and that I could ask questions about the apartment...BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

I don't want to ask questions about the apartment, I just want to be able to say "hey, let's talk about something else!" but I can't. I'm an emotional wreck with very little forethought into my outbursts. So instead, I told him I don't want to ask questions, I don't want to answer questions, I don't want to talk about anything. Bye." and we hung up.

How long do I need to wait to call him back if I plan on pretending that never happened?

Edited to add: All's well. I'm just dumb and like to get huffy about things. I called later to apologize for the "outburst" and for ending the conversation so abruptly and his phone soon ended THAT conversation abruptly when it died. So I think we're in a tie. [avoid love:love tennis score pun here!]

Head in Hand

2008-05-30T10:07:00.000-07:00

Here I go again. I slept until 11am and have gotten nothing useful done since. I read some news articles, but I tend to confine myself to media-related items. This was my downfall during News Quizzes in my media ethics class this past semester. The point is, I still haven't fixed myself of that habit and I'm still caught up in the related habit of not working on my final for the same class.

Granted, I could go without ever doing the work and I've already walked away with a C, but hell I might as well try to make good with a B or something. I mean for a class that focuses on something I have such interest in outside of schooling, you'd think I'd have done better. Alas. Or Alack. Who knows?

The important thing here is that I'm having a party tomorrow. Yippee! Mom's downstairs making a cake right now. It will have pudding in the middle. Glorious, glorious pudding. I helped her sift flour and pour things but I got out of that racket before the egg-splitting began on the excuse that I was coming back upstairs to do more work. HAH. I will not be to blame for any eggshells this time.

This is my Batman balloon:
He has been flying successfully since the beginning of May when Kelly and Meagan brought him to my hospital room in the pediatrics ward (if you can ever sneak in there despite being 22 and totally not meant to be in pediatrics - DO IT! It's cheerful and you get the best view and the lounge has video games.) Sometimes I open a window or turn on my fan and he travels across my bedroom ceiling.

The gaps in the rear of my mouth-cavity are feeling less obvious and slightly less bloody, which is nice. I can't help but wonder if removing all four wisdom teeth was the right course of action when only the bottom two were slightly off-kilter, but I expect that chewing with top teeth that have no bottom teeth to grind against is not much fun chewing at all. And I like chewing. I'm like a cow, I suppose. But let's not let that comment degenerate into jokes about my size.

I am super-excited because tonight I may get to see my friend Addie, who is coming from Pennsyltucky to visit for my party (and because we've been trying to schedule a visit and this seemed a good enough excuse for the trip.) I'm taking the time right now to upload photos from my last trip to see Addie & her family when her mother Linda died in August 2006. I can't believe I haven't seen her in almost 2 years...

I've wasted enough time for now, so I leave you with a slideshow of a good trip and a great party in remembrance of an awesome friend.

Tuned Out

2008-05-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be reading/doing dishes/cleaning my room/showering/going to Joe's/finishing finals right now, but I obviously thought it was a better idea to do this.

Hi.

I'm Leah. 22. Last Thursday I graduated from Douglass College in strictly the ceremonial sense. Two weeks ago my gallbladder was removed in an emergency surgery that gained me extensions on my finals and interrupted that whole "finishing my last year of school and moving the hell out of New Brunswick" nonsense. Now it's pretty awesome to not have terrible abdominal pain any longer, but my back decided it had some aching to catch up on and I'm lounging on the couch in my PJs at 2 in the afternoon, debilitated and catching a cold.

It's Memorial Day. The weather outside is gorgeous. I'm missing all the barbecues.

This is an awesome first post.